Three things that are keeping you stuck
Hurtful actions from others or having been mistreated may have led you to this page. I acknowledge and respect your journey and applaud you for taking your first step toward feeling better in your future! Thank you so much for being here!
If we experience hurt and mistreatment and we are unable to fully process and integrate the event, many things can happen. Sometimes these things are conscious (in our current awareness), and oftentimes they happen at the unconscious level (outside of our current awareness).
The three main feelings and beliefs that I help my clients heal as we begin are:
I feel unseen
I feel unheard and
I feel unloved
Let’s take a little deep dive into each of these and see which is most predominant for you. In other words, which keeps you from achieving the love, connection and money that you so desire.
Feeling unseen can lead to a sense of feeling invisible. Many live by an unwritten, unacknowledged motto of ‘never stand out’. When you are standing with a group, do you feel like you are never quite in the full circle of conversation? Do you tend to shrink back when someone asks you a question, even if it is as simple as answering how your day was in front of the group?
Feeling invisible can lead to a lack of confidence in yourself and your ability to achieve what is best for your next step toward growth. It can also lead to you not wanting to be seen out of fear or shame.
Where in your life do you desire growth, love, connection or money? Sometimes a feeling of being unseen can be a contributing factor in not achieving your goals.
Feeling unheard can lead to a sense of not being validated, feeling alone, and feeling misunderstood. So often, when we have been hurt or mistreated, we can feel like others do not understand our story. We may even feel shameful about telling our story, afraid that somehow we will be judged for a piece of our history.
Have you ever told your story to someone you trusted, to be met with a response of “It wasn’t that bad”? Or have you ever felt hesitant to attend events or make plans to hang out with a friend because your anxiety might take over at the last minute?
When we feel unheard, we can feel like people disappoint us when we let others know about our anxiety and it leads to a comment similar to this one: “You just need to get over it.”
Feeling unloved or unlovable leads to a lack of boundaries, not feeling accepted for who we are, or not feeling respected or valued. Love is a basic human need. Without it, we cannot survive. When our basic need for love is not met because we feel unloved or unlovable, our innate survival instincts come into play.
In an effort to feel loved, we can begin to do things that are destructive to us as a way to cope. We can turn to things that are not healthy for us, to fill the void of love that is missing in our lives. This can include alcohol or drug abuse, addictions to shopping, overeating or under-eating, to name a few. These things can be destructive to our health, our finances and our relationships.
Have you noticed a pattern in your life where you feel a disconnect from love and you automatically, unconsciously turn to one or more of these vices? Would you like to get to a place where you feel whole, secure and loved unconditionally by yourself and others?
Of those three areas, which seems to be the most predominant for you? Do you feel pieces of each of them at times? Please know that I am here to serve and support your healing process at every level and welcome any comments or questions regarding this article.
Let me be a part of your healing journey to get you from feeling stuck, to joyous, with healthy feelings of confidence, worthiness, and a knowing that you are lovable, so you can achieve all the love, connection and money that you desire!
To get you started on the path to feeling seen, take a look below at my free confidence exercise! You can use this method when you are going in to a stressful situation or when you are inside of a communication that becomes stressful, when you need to prepare for a difficult phone conversation, for a public speaking event, and so much more!
Doing Zip-Ups strengthens and energizes your core energy along the line known in Chinese Acupuncture as the Conception Vessel. If you do the Zip-Ups when you hear or see de-energizing images, sounds, words or actions, it will help you stay energized, centered, calm and confident. Doing Zip-Ups in stressful situations helps you maintain your center of balance.
Holding your upward-facing palm - right or left - about one inch in front of your pelvis, move it slowly up the center of your body from your pelvis to your chin, just below the mouth.
Avoid moving your hand down your midline - only upward moving.
You can do more subtle Zip-Ups in front of your heart, moving your hand just a few inches up the midline.
P.S. - Keep your eyes peeled for my next email when I'll send you an exercise to help you feel heard which will lead to you feeling validated.