It's not your relationship that needs fixing -
and it's not you, either.
It's the hidden pattern running them both.

Change what's happening inside you, and watch everything on the outside change.

This isn't about managing symptoms.
It's about changing the patterns at the root.

Let me guess... You're the one everyone leans on. The dependable one. The "good" one. You've probably been called that your whole life.

From the outside, it looks like you have it all together.

But here's what they don't see: the moment you finally sit down at the end of the day and realize you haven't thought about what you need in hours. The way you say Yes before you've even checked whether you have the energy. And somewhere in the middle of taking care of everyone and everything else, you've lost touch with yourself.

You can feel it. You just can't quite figure out how to change it.

And it's not for lack of trying.

You've read the books. Listened to the podcasts. Maybe you've even tried boundaries - rehearsed what you'd say, worked up the courage, said it… and then the guilt hit like a wave. So you softened it. Explained it. Apologized for it. And when they looked even slightly disappointed, you took it all back.

Sound familiar?

What's left for you?

You're tired in a way sleep doesn't fix.

You're resentful, and then feel guilty for being resentful.

And somewhere underneath it all, there's a growing fear that if you don't figure this out soon, you'll look back one day and realize you spent your whole life living for everyone but yourself.

Let's talk about why this hasn't worked.

Most of the solutions you've learned focus on the symptom - the boundary you can't hold, the "no" you can't say, the guilt that shows up the moment you choose yourself.

And managing a symptom never fixes the thing causing it.

You can white-knuckle your way through a hundred boundary scripts and still feel exactly the same inside - because the real problem was never the boundary.

The real problem is the pattern running underneath it. Addressing the pattern is where lasting change begins to stick.

"What is this pattern you speak of?"

Often, it's a hidden belief.

Not one you consciously chose, but one you learned, probably when you were very young, from the people you loved most. You absorbed it so early that you've never stopped to question whether it was true. It's simply been there, influencing how you think, feel, and behave.

You learned that being "good" meant being agreeable. That keeping the peace meant staying quiet. That love came after you earned it.

So you became the "good" one. Maybe it kept the peace. Maybe it earned you praise. Either way, you learned that being agreeable helped you maintain connection, and that pattern followed you into your adult relationships.

Here's what it might sound like:

"I'm only lovable when I'm giving."
"If I put myself first, I'm being selfish."
"If I say no, I'll lose the people I love."

You might read those and think, "Well… isn't that just true?"

That's the thing about a hidden belief. It doesn't feel like a belief. It feels like reality.

And when something feels true, you naturally make decisions based on it, often without even realizing you're doing it.

Now imagine making decisions

based on what you truly want,

rather than what you've learned you need to do

to be loved.

Book Your Monthly Reset

What actually changes for you inside this program?

✨ You stop automatically looking around to see who needs something from you.

✨ You begin recognizing what you need, what you want, and what feels right for you.

✨ You stop disappearing when all you really want is to be seen.

✨ You start staying connected to yourself - even when someone is disappointed, even when the old guilt shows up, even when saying yes would be so much easier.

✨ And your relationships change - not because you forced them to, but because you changed.

Here's what makes this different from everything you've likely tried...

You don't have to wait a year to feel it. Every session is designed to give you a real shift you can use that same week. As you continue, those shifts build on one another - month after month - into something that reshapes how you show up in every relationship.

This is for you if…

✨ You're the one everyone counts on, and you're beginning to wonder when your own needs stopped mattering.

✨ You recognize how often you put everyone else first, even when it comes at your own expense.

✨ You've tried setting boundaries, practicing self-care, and changing your habits, but you keep falling back into the same patterns.

✨ You're curious about what's happening underneath your behavior and willing to look at your own role in creating change.

This may not be for you if…

🚫 You're looking for another set of strategies to manage the same behaviors.

🚫 You're waiting for someone else to change before your life can improve.

🚫 You're looking for a one-time solution rather than an ongoing opportunity to grow.

Lasting change takes more than understanding what needs to change.

It takes a willingness to explore what's underneath and do something about it.

This is a practice that gives you something real every month,

for as long as you want to continue growing and upleveling your life.

INTRODUCING

MONTHLY RESET

Monthly Reset is a live group Zoom call that happens the first Wednesday of every month at 5:30 PM MST.

We look at your relationships, and your connection to yourself, from a completely different angle each time.

We explore different topics,

uncover the subconscious beliefs and patterns influencing your experiences,

and guide you toward changing them.

Every session is complete on its own, so you can join at any time without feeling like you've missed something.

And as you continue participating,

you'll begin to recognize how the changes you make in one area of your life influence so many others.

That's the beauty of doing this work consistently.

The changes build on one another, and so does your connection to yourself.

Book Your Monthly Reset

Seating is limited

Every Month, a New Perspective

Here are just a few of the topics we explore in Monthly Reset:

The hidden beliefs influencing your relationships
Where you learned to be the "good one"
Understanding the guilt that shows up when you choose yourself
Self-empowerment: Reclaiming your voice
Self-love as the foundation for lasting change
Staying connected to yourself when others are disappointed
Creating your ideal life

And there's more!

When you join the monthly subscription, you'll also receive immediate access to our growing library of past Monthly Reset sessions.

That means you can begin exploring the topics that matter most to you right away, at your own pace.

The library alone is valued at $1,584, with new sessions added every month.

Imagine what could change...

What you're feeling now ->->-> What's possible

Feeling pulled away from yourself ->->-> Feeling confident and connected to who you are
Feeling guilty when you take time for yourself ->->-> Resting and receiving without the guilt
Relationships that leave you emotionally drained ->->-> Relationships built on mutual love and respect
Saying Yes when you really want to say No ->->-> Honoring your needs without apologizing
Believing you have to earn love ->->-> Knowing you are lovable just as you are

Book Your Monthly Reset

Here's a few things you might be thinking...

🚫 "If I change, I'll lose the people I love."

When you've spent years keeping everyone happy, changing how you show up can feel uncomfortable, especially when others are accustomed to you putting their needs first. As you begin honoring yourself, your relationships have an opportunity to grow into something more balanced, honest, and mutually supportive.

🚫 "Investing in myself feels selfish."

It makes sense why you are thinking that - You've spent your whole life "spending" on everyone else. But here's the reframe: the people you love need you - recharged, present, alive. Giving back to yourself through a Monthly Reset is the most loving thing you can do for them.

🚫 "I've always been this way."

Maybe you've always behaved this way, but that doesn't mean it's who you are. Many of the beliefs and behaviors we carry into adulthood were learned when we were very young. And when we begin changing those patterns, we create opportunities to respond differently.

🚫 "I don't have the time or energy"

That may be exactly why you need this hour. When your time and energy are continually being consumed by everyone else's needs, procrastination, overthinking or commitments you didn't really want to make, one hour spent changing the pattern can save you countless hours continuing it.

🚫 "What if I do the work and I still don't feel loved?"

That's an important question. And one worth exploring. When you've spent years looking to others for love, approval, and reassurance, it can take time to recognize your own worth. Monthly Reset helps you explore the beliefs influencing how you see yourself, so you can begin experiencing love and acceptance from within.

🚫 "Ya, this sounds pretty good, but I don’t think I’d like group work."

That’s what D.H. thought in the beginning too. But after five months of participating, this is what she shared “I’ve never joined a group program before, however perhaps I should have. This group has been open in sharing the obstacles/difficulties they have experienced. I’m more confident with sharing my feelings with a group. everyone is respectful and supportive of each other."

What Is Staying the Same Costing You?

Think about where you were a year ago. Were you making the same promises to yourself? Saying you'd start putting your needs first, speaking up more often, or finally making time for the things you want?

And how much has actually changed?

Now imagine another year passing. Or five.

How many opportunities will you have passed up? How many things will you have wanted to do but talked yourself out of because someone else needed something from you? How much of your time and energy will you have spent making sure everyone else is happy?

And perhaps the most important question of all...

What could your life look like a year from now if you began making different choices today?

What members are saying:

I run from unpleasant people less, hold my space more and speak up easier. Sessions are insanely insightful.

Rebecca, Washington

I love the community. I have a sense of purpose and a drive now that has been missing for years.

Shawn, Washington

Now, It's Your Turn.

You've spent so much of your life being "good" for everyone else.

This is your opportunity to be good to yourself.

Join us for the next Monthly Reset and begin creating the changes you want to experience in your life.

Options for Joining

Option 1: Monthly Reset Single Session

Single Monthly Reset Group Session
WhatsApp community for support

Option 2: Monthly Reset Subscription (most popular!)

Monthly Reset Group Session
WhatsApp community for support
Access to the video library of all past Monthly Reset group sessions

Option 3: Monthly Reset Subscription Combo

Monthly Reset Group Session
WhatsApp community for support
Access to the video library of all past Monthly Reset group sessions
One Individual Session per billing period

Booking Anchor

Refund Policy

Heather McAbee, LLC has a NO REFUND policy.

Recurring Membership / Online Courses / Event Registration Fees: Membership, Online Courses, and Event Registration fees are non-refundable. For memberships that are being paid for on a monthly basis, there is no refund for any payments you’ve already made. You may cancel your subscription anytime if you no longer want to subscribe. You will still have access to the subscription until the end of the period you have paid for.

Monthly Reset
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A simple, supportive monthly rhythm to reset, reconnect, and live with greater clarity.
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44 US dollars
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Meet Your Host:

Heather is a transformation facilitator, public speaker, workshop leader, retreat leader and owner of Shifting Sands Holistic Healing. Her most requested talk From Trauma to Triumph inspires audiences to break the chains of generational trauma patterns by taking charge of their own healing. She is most known for her signature program Meeting Yourself Again.

Heather empowers people who have been hurt or mistreated in erasing the beliefs that keep them from feeling love, connection and belonging so they can live the life they wished for but never dreamed they could achieve.

Learn more about Heather here.

Frequently Asked Questions

Is this therapy?

Monthly Reset is not therapy and does not replace medical or mental health care. This is a guided group experience focused on personal growth, awareness, and nervous system support. The work is experiential and body-based, rather than talk-focused or diagnostic.

Have more questions? Simply send me an email: shiftingsands4health@gmail.com

I look forward to seeing you in the Zoom room for a Monthly Reset!

Shifting Sands

when you're ready for real change

It's not your relationship that needs fixing - and it's not you, either. It's the hidden pattern running them both.

Change what's happening inside you, and watch everything on the outside change.

This isn't about managing symptoms. It's about changing the patterns at the root.

What's left for you?

Let's talk about why this hasn't worked.

"What is this pattern you speak of?"

What actually changes for you inside this program?

​Here's what makes this different from everything you've likely tried...

​

This is for you if…

​This may not be for you if…

INTRODUCING MONTHLY RESET

Every Month, a New Perspective

And there's more!

Imagine what could change...

Here's a few things you might be thinking...

What Is Staying the Same Costing You?

​

What members are saying:

Now, It's Your Turn.

​

This is your opportunity to be good to yourself.

​

Options for Joining

Refund Policy

Monthly Reset

Meet Your Host:

Frequently Asked Questions

Contact

It's not your relationship that needs fixing -
and it's not you, either.
It's the hidden pattern running them both.

This isn't about managing symptoms.
It's about changing the patterns at the root.

Here's what makes this different from everything you've likely tried...

This may not be for you if…

INTRODUCING

MONTHLY RESET